siri thinks my daughter is in a production of ‘reservoir dogs’

not pink guy, siri! help me out a little here. i’m not trying to tell everyone that my daughter is portraying mr. pink in a preschool production of reservoir dogs. i’m trying to tell people that she has pinkeye.

i was actually proud of myself for telling my wife that i thought our 4 year old might have some form of conjunctivitis when i dropped her off at school this morning; not only for the massive double and triple letter score on some scrabble boards… i didn’t even realize i was correctly diagnosing her. i’m not so proud of actually still taking her to school, unknowingly subjecting her classmates to possibly contracting the very contagious pinkeye as well. oops! the conjunctivitis all the other parents will give me when i’m able to bring her back to school is actually called stink eye, not pink eye.

so my wife had to pick my daughter up from school early today. this, on the day our friend arrived from colorado to stay with us for a while. welcome to our home! don’t touch anything and wash your hands every five minutes, okay? and by all means, don’t rub your eyes. wait… wait… did you just rub your eyes?!?!

and how did the night end for me, you ask? for the first time i’ve had to deal with it, our 9 month old made a huge twosie (yes… i call it that. and yes, i got that from scrubs.) in his cloth diaper.

– insert extremely loud and long yell with a fist raised to the sky of: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! 

as i removed that little surprise before giving him his bath before bedtime, i just kept repeating the mantra: “these are saving us money. these are saving us money…” over and over. do you think that was the cherry on the day? well you’re wrong. that was just the whipped cream. the cherry was when i scooped everything (sorry) from that money-saving diaper into the toilet with some wipes and flushed it. you can guess what happened, right? yep. the toilet clogged. there’s the cherry. daddy plunging the toilet with the baby in the tub right next to him laughing at all the commotion.

and this is part of why this blog exists.

p.s. if you watched that KHAN clip, you must watch this one too. only because it just makes so much sense on my blog. (you’ll see….)

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8 thoughts on “siri thinks my daughter is in a production of ‘reservoir dogs’

  1. Gina says:

    First poopie diaper in 9 months?! Shameful!!!!!

    • timwheaton says:

      no no… first poopie diaper in one of the cloth diapers. i didn’t specify that very well. we haven’t really been using the cloth ones and lately we have started, but try to use them after he already poops for the day. so i think this is only the second time he has pooped in one.

  2. it’s a glamorous, glamorous, glamorous life. oh yes it is….. can’t wait for more.

  3. Christina Renee says:

    Ahahahaha! Sorry you had a bad night but it made for a hilarious story!

  4. Cassie says:

    Are you using flushable liners? Liners make the poop diapers so much easier to deal with.

  5. John says:

    Okay. In Peru we can’t put the toilet paper, flush able wipes or toilet paper cardboard insert we save and use to scrape the diaper IN the toilet at all. That all goes in the trash can, next to the toilet. And the toilet still clogs. And I try to convince myself it is not only the money saving, but maybe something for the environment too, though that is really just to make me feel better.

  6. Graciela says:

    Fine way of explaining, and good piece of writing to take facts on the topic of my presentation topic, which i am going to convey in academy.

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